I fell in love with my husband.

Let me say first, I have been in love with my husband from the moment I knew he was the one I wanted to marry over 10 years ago. 

We met in high school through a mutual friend and I have loved him since. I love him because he loves God and is so faithful to Him. I love him because he is THE funniest person I know. I love him because he is stinking hot (beard and all;)). I love him because he takes care of me and our children with all his being. I love him because he is one of the best fathers I know. I love him because he is so incredibly patient with me. So on and so on.

Alright,  I just listed all these reasons why I love my husband and that I have loved him since I knew he was going to be my husband. BUT!!! HERE IT COMES!!! I didn't realize I wasn't loving him the way he needed and when I learned the right way, WOW, LOVE ON STEROIDS!!

So what am I talking about? 

I read, Love and Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs. Thank you Sara Chambers for the recommendation! Changed my life. OUR LIFE!

I had not been loving my husband for the 8 years we had been married because disrespect was very present. You see I didn't know that the way my husband knows and feels my "love" is by me completely "respecting" him at all times. When I read the words that explained that, I cried and cried and cried. How in the world could I have not shown my husband that I loved him as much as I do for the eight years we had been married. I was so sad for him. I apologized right then and there. He just hugged me so sweetly (but was probably thinking, FINALLY!)

I know you are probably thinking, well didn't you ever read Ephesians 5:33 "However, let each one of you love his wife as himseld and let the wife see that she respects her husband." Yes, of course I had read that verse a million times. Kris and I had talked about that verse a million times. I have always tried to strive to respect Kris, it just does not come naturally to me. I am a bugger, I nag, I like things a certain way, I don't sit down much, I don't like the TV on, I expected him to be just like me. WHAT, that is ridiculous. He is a man, I am a women. Dr Eggerichs talks about men seeing through blue sunglasses and hearing through blue hearing aids and women seeing through pink sunglasses and hearing through pink hearing aids. How can I ever expect him to be like me. That is a battle I could never win. What I can win, however  is respecting my husband to show him that I love him. He needs it. Just like I need love. He needs respect.

There were three major points in the Love and Respect book. Three cycles of a marriage. Crazy Cycle, Energizing Cycle and the Rewarding Cycle.

I'll talk about these and what they meant to me on my next post. Please stayed tuned, it's worth it!!

Living In His Mercy,

Andrea Toney